Monday, August 30, 2004
Can't Figure Out How - Plus, Life Is Getting A Little Better
I'm wanting to change my template... I want something with a little more color. I can change the template just fine, but I can't figure out how to get the links and my other bloggers list to show up on the new one. Help anyone?
It's funny how speaking your problems to someone hoping to get help and then being open-minded about what they say and actually take what they say to heart and try and apply it to your life can help make one feel a little bit better. I have done just that, and I'm feeling better. I'm feeling like all hope is not, in fact lost, and that I'm actually on my way to fixing things. It's a long road at a slow pace, but I feel like I'm moving somewhere, which is much better than sitting there watching the mold grow on the mushrooms (don't ask where I got that from).
I love my Bible study leaders.
I might be going to a Bible study at another church tonight. Seanathon invited me and Josh to go with him to a Bible study at his church. I wanted to go last time we were invited, but I decided against it because I was going through some stuff - I was very unstable. That, and I had something planned already. I hope I get to go... it could be a wonderful experience!
I am so excited for this year in Midschool, Sunday School and Bible study! I'm going to learn so much from the people around me... it's going to be great! I'M SO INCREDIBLY PUMPED!!!
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I'm wanting to change my template... I want something with a little more color. I can change the template just fine, but I can't figure out how to get the links and my other bloggers list to show up on the new one. Help anyone?
It's funny how speaking your problems to someone hoping to get help and then being open-minded about what they say and actually take what they say to heart and try and apply it to your life can help make one feel a little bit better. I have done just that, and I'm feeling better. I'm feeling like all hope is not, in fact lost, and that I'm actually on my way to fixing things. It's a long road at a slow pace, but I feel like I'm moving somewhere, which is much better than sitting there watching the mold grow on the mushrooms (don't ask where I got that from).
I love my Bible study leaders.
I might be going to a Bible study at another church tonight. Seanathon invited me and Josh to go with him to a Bible study at his church. I wanted to go last time we were invited, but I decided against it because I was going through some stuff - I was very unstable. That, and I had something planned already. I hope I get to go... it could be a wonderful experience!
I am so excited for this year in Midschool, Sunday School and Bible study! I'm going to learn so much from the people around me... it's going to be great! I'M SO INCREDIBLY PUMPED!!!
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Today Hasn't Been Any Better - Plus, I Don't Know What I'm Going To Do
There are so many things in life that we have to bother with. Things that in some ways seem so little, but when those same things are put in a different light, they could change the world, or at least a major portion of our lives.
William hasn't been any better today. He's a pain. It takes literally 6-7 hours from the time the child starts putting dishes in the dishwasher to the time when he closes the door and starts it up... and that's WITH hounding him. Grr. I swear, sometimes I'm more of a mother to him than a sister. And I don't like that.
I miss my Mom. She needs to focus a little less on work and spend a little more time helping her family. I'm only asking minor things here, like teaching the 7-year-old who is in second grade to read, or helping the 17-year-old register for the upcoming SAT so that she has a chance to take it again, if need be, before it changes to an even more difficult monster. Boy, I tell ya. If I were to do one thing over in my life, I would go to public school. Grr. Again.
Tuesday nights are going to be very difficult this year if things go the way my mind has them layed out. *shakes head* Difficult. To the extreme. Difficult might just be an understatement, but at the moment, I have lack of a more sufficient word. Ah well.
I'm hoping to meet with Aundra within the next few days... We need to talk about... things. I'm looking forward to it! Maybe she can help me figure out some things.
Well, shmoes, I'm going to shove off now. I have to go do stuff like try and find a place where I can register myself for the SAT. Yeah. Talk to you all later.
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There are so many things in life that we have to bother with. Things that in some ways seem so little, but when those same things are put in a different light, they could change the world, or at least a major portion of our lives.
William hasn't been any better today. He's a pain. It takes literally 6-7 hours from the time the child starts putting dishes in the dishwasher to the time when he closes the door and starts it up... and that's WITH hounding him. Grr. I swear, sometimes I'm more of a mother to him than a sister. And I don't like that.
I miss my Mom. She needs to focus a little less on work and spend a little more time helping her family. I'm only asking minor things here, like teaching the 7-year-old who is in second grade to read, or helping the 17-year-old register for the upcoming SAT so that she has a chance to take it again, if need be, before it changes to an even more difficult monster. Boy, I tell ya. If I were to do one thing over in my life, I would go to public school. Grr. Again.
Tuesday nights are going to be very difficult this year if things go the way my mind has them layed out. *shakes head* Difficult. To the extreme. Difficult might just be an understatement, but at the moment, I have lack of a more sufficient word. Ah well.
I'm hoping to meet with Aundra within the next few days... We need to talk about... things. I'm looking forward to it! Maybe she can help me figure out some things.
Well, shmoes, I'm going to shove off now. I have to go do stuff like try and find a place where I can register myself for the SAT. Yeah. Talk to you all later.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Going Through A Rough Spot - Plus, There Must Be A Bug Going 'Round
My apologies for not having written in so long. I'm going through a rough spot right now. I can't tell if I'm growing and getting more mature or if my whole system is having a breakdown and going absolutely nowhere at all.
I have noticed that a lot of my friends have been just as unhappy lately. Maybe there's a Must Frustrate Bug going around here. Hmmm...
Lara and I haven't gotten any better... we're still in the same spot.
Josh and I are doing magnificently (if that's not a word, I just made it up, so now it is)! He is so wonderful all the time... he has helped me so much the past few weeks. He's amazing. He's even helping me study for the SAT! Amazing!
Well, that's really all I have to say. I'll talk to you shmoes later.
p.s.
By the way, my surprise for Josh went quite well! I really think he enjoyed it!
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My apologies for not having written in so long. I'm going through a rough spot right now. I can't tell if I'm growing and getting more mature or if my whole system is having a breakdown and going absolutely nowhere at all.
I have noticed that a lot of my friends have been just as unhappy lately. Maybe there's a Must Frustrate Bug going around here. Hmmm...
Lara and I haven't gotten any better... we're still in the same spot.
Josh and I are doing magnificently (if that's not a word, I just made it up, so now it is)! He is so wonderful all the time... he has helped me so much the past few weeks. He's amazing. He's even helping me study for the SAT! Amazing!
Well, that's really all I have to say. I'll talk to you shmoes later.
p.s.
By the way, my surprise for Josh went quite well! I really think he enjoyed it!
Monday, August 16, 2004
Life Is Odd At Times - Plus, Being A Girl Isn't As Easy As It Looks
I didn't realize how long it has been since I last updated. My apologies, to those of you who care.
I've been having a rough time lately, emotions are running haywire. My foot is caught in the stirrup and I'm just being dragged along for the "ride."
I noticed that our usual Sunday Group seemed down, all except for Randy. It was completely backwards. I got invited to a Bible study at a Lutheran church... not sure whether to go or not. I think I'll stay home this time... although I could learn a lot from going, I'm having enough problems with my own "religion" as it is... I don't need to frustrate things further.
Lara and I haven't gotten any better, but also haven't gotten any worse.
I do have a few good things... I finally got a new cell phone. The old one refused to charge... it was a pain. I like my new cell, although there are things about the old one that I really liked.
Today is my 3rd Monthiversary with Josh. :D He's managed to put up with me for three months now, and I have been blessed by his presence for an equal amount of time. He's amazing. He is sublime (adj. Tending to inspire awe usually because of elevated quality or transcendent excellence), to me at least. He is so patient, so caring, so loving and wonderful. I don't deserve a man as great as him, but I'm glad he does want to stay with me, I'm glad I have a man as incredible as he.
Well, I'm off to finish a surprise for Josh. I hope it will all work out! I'll talk to you shmoes later.
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I didn't realize how long it has been since I last updated. My apologies, to those of you who care.
I've been having a rough time lately, emotions are running haywire. My foot is caught in the stirrup and I'm just being dragged along for the "ride."
I noticed that our usual Sunday Group seemed down, all except for Randy. It was completely backwards. I got invited to a Bible study at a Lutheran church... not sure whether to go or not. I think I'll stay home this time... although I could learn a lot from going, I'm having enough problems with my own "religion" as it is... I don't need to frustrate things further.
Lara and I haven't gotten any better, but also haven't gotten any worse.
I do have a few good things... I finally got a new cell phone. The old one refused to charge... it was a pain. I like my new cell, although there are things about the old one that I really liked.
Today is my 3rd Monthiversary with Josh. :D He's managed to put up with me for three months now, and I have been blessed by his presence for an equal amount of time. He's amazing. He is sublime (adj. Tending to inspire awe usually because of elevated quality or transcendent excellence), to me at least. He is so patient, so caring, so loving and wonderful. I don't deserve a man as great as him, but I'm glad he does want to stay with me, I'm glad I have a man as incredible as he.
Well, I'm off to finish a surprise for Josh. I hope it will all work out! I'll talk to you shmoes later.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Having A Rough Time - Plus, My Boyfriend Is Great
This whole Lara situation is getting stressful. I won't get into it now... All I'm going to say is that I have had one complete break-down and a couple of minor break-downs and I haven't talked to her or seen her in a week and a half (maybe that's part of it...). I miss her.
Josh has been here, helping me through this growth process. He's so encouraging and considerate, yet he's not afraid to tell me that I'm wrong or that I need to do something differently. He's so great, it's really nice to have someone to be there for you when you need them the most, to take care of you when you don't feel well, to love you when you feel unloved. He's a great guy and an awesome friend.
Well, I've worked a lot lately (can anyone tell me if a lot should be one word or two?)... Kenneth, a.k.a. Mittens, has been there, but he hasn't been obnoxious at all. Other people are starting to irritate me though, and that's not good. At least they aren't stalking me!
The doctor my Mom does transcription for is changing to all electronic records, thus meaning he doesn't need her anymore. This is a cause for prayer and praise. Prayer because we REALLY need the income, praise because maybe I'll have a teacher for my last year of high school. I have so much that I have to catch up on, so many things that I should have learned years ago that I still haven't covered yet. I'm feeling way behind (which I am) and stupid again, and I don't like it. I'm going to have to work my butt off if I expect to get into college, which I do, and I sometimes feel like such a task is nearly impossible. It's going to be tough, I knew that from the beginning. I just know that by the end of this upcoming school year, if things go the way they did last year, I will not be capable of handling college. I will end up having to enroll in public scholl or something and get caught up with the rest of the people my age. I wish I wouldn't have to do that. I'm embarassed more than anything. I feel so inadequate, so helpless, so stupid.
Ah well, enough of my ramblings. I shall bid you adieu, or as the Haitians say, "Bon nuit!"
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This whole Lara situation is getting stressful. I won't get into it now... All I'm going to say is that I have had one complete break-down and a couple of minor break-downs and I haven't talked to her or seen her in a week and a half (maybe that's part of it...). I miss her.
Josh has been here, helping me through this growth process. He's so encouraging and considerate, yet he's not afraid to tell me that I'm wrong or that I need to do something differently. He's so great, it's really nice to have someone to be there for you when you need them the most, to take care of you when you don't feel well, to love you when you feel unloved. He's a great guy and an awesome friend.
Well, I've worked a lot lately (can anyone tell me if a lot should be one word or two?)... Kenneth, a.k.a. Mittens, has been there, but he hasn't been obnoxious at all. Other people are starting to irritate me though, and that's not good. At least they aren't stalking me!
The doctor my Mom does transcription for is changing to all electronic records, thus meaning he doesn't need her anymore. This is a cause for prayer and praise. Prayer because we REALLY need the income, praise because maybe I'll have a teacher for my last year of high school. I have so much that I have to catch up on, so many things that I should have learned years ago that I still haven't covered yet. I'm feeling way behind (which I am) and stupid again, and I don't like it. I'm going to have to work my butt off if I expect to get into college, which I do, and I sometimes feel like such a task is nearly impossible. It's going to be tough, I knew that from the beginning. I just know that by the end of this upcoming school year, if things go the way they did last year, I will not be capable of handling college. I will end up having to enroll in public scholl or something and get caught up with the rest of the people my age. I wish I wouldn't have to do that. I'm embarassed more than anything. I feel so inadequate, so helpless, so stupid.
Ah well, enough of my ramblings. I shall bid you adieu, or as the Haitians say, "Bon nuit!"
