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Growing Up Isn't Always Easy or Fun - Plus, I Have A Wonderful Guy

Yeah, so yesterday was interesting. Interesting, frustrating, and joyous beyond all comprehension all at the same time. But then again, it's always interesting when Lara and I butt heads.

I am truly thankful that Josh is the way he is! He helped me through yesterday like no one else would or could. He knew just how to make me feel better, and he did just that. He made me talk everything over, and he just talked to me throughout the night and made me feel better. I'm sure you would rather not hear about how great he is, so I'll quit.

Well, I feel like I'm about to fall over, so I think I'm going to go practice Dvorak for a few and then head off to bed, so I'll end it...


here.

This Could Become A Stressful Day - Plus, I Don't Know What To Do

Wow. This day has started off on the rocks. Lara called this morning. For those of you that don't know, we haven't been getting along lately. Anyhoo, she's trying so hard to blame her problems on me, and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle her without breaking her, but at the same time, she only learns when she's broken - by her choice, of course. I hate seeing her like this, yet when I try to help, she only hears me - she doesn't listen. I will go to her and try and help her, and all that comes in return? Lies. She tells me what I want to hear, uses me sometimes, and goes on doing what she pleases regardless of who she's hurting in the process. What makes it unbearable is that when it all comes crashing down on her (like I tried to tell her it would), she expects me to pull her out, dust her off and then take her to the emergency room so she can get better! I actually fell for it for the longest time. She used me like none other. Can you imagine what it felt like when I finally realized what she was doing? Well, I'm refusing to play her games. She's still trying to take advantage of me, and I'm not falling for it anymore. That's why she's so upset with me. She can't use me anymore.

What I'm not sure about is if I'm doing the right thing. I mean, I tried being compassionate, feeling sorry for her when she screwed herself, and all I got was used. I try the tough love thing, and she accuses me of not being there for her, not being compassionate towards her. She accuses me of giving up on her. You know what? There are times when I've thought about giving up completely! But I can't. I love her too much. And that's my problem.

I love her and I want what's best for her. What that seems like is just letting her go about her business, warning her about it first (very casually, not mothering her or anything), and then watching her screw herself over again. And when she actually does do something right, praise her to the high heavens for it.

Is that how I'm supposed to do it? Is this what she needs from me? Is that how I'm supposed to be the best friend I can possibly be for her? Am I supposed to feel so horrible, or is that what she's wanting? Is she wanting me to feel guilty so that I'll do what she wants me to?

I can't handle the constant rollercoaster anymore. I try to be there for her and all she does is throw me out on the doorstep. I try to help her as best as I know how and she uses me. I want to give up on her sometimes, but I can't. This has been my dilemma for about 7 months. I don't know why I haven't asked for help sooner, but I'm asking now. Brent, I know you read this everyday... could you shoot me an e-mail or comment or something, if you have any advice or condemnations for me, that is. I was going to send you one first, but I couldn't find the words. Anyone else with any advice or condemnations, either comment or send me an e-mail at christs.penguin@verizon.net.

Other than the Lara situation, my life has been going pretty well! Josh and I have been going out for almost 2 1/2 months now... that's good news I suppose. There's not really anything else for me to report.

Happiness Is Good - Plus, Things Are Getting Interesting!

Hallo all! As you all know, my boyfriend has returned from his family vacation. This makes me happy. I have planned an all-day date for him - we're going tommorrow. It'll be great! So yeah...

Things could be getting interesting between my friend and I. I guess I'm getting frustrated because they do stupid things and then when it comes back to bite them, they expect sympathy from me. And even though I advised them against it, they did it anyway. I'm just getting tired of the one-sided, rollercoaster of a relationship. And to make matters worse, another friend is trying to fix it by butting in. I want to ask for help, even though I'm 75% sure what I'm going to be told. Ah well. Life is life, is it not?

Well, I suppose that's all that's on my mind right now. I'll blog ya later!

Spending The Night Is Good For Conversation - Plus, Dvorak Is Coming Along
 
I'm spending the night at Chris and Ang's house...actually I spent the night last night, but it continues into the next day...you know these things already, why am I explaining them to you?  Anyhoo, we watched Sea Biscuit last night and this morning...Chris fell asleep in the middle of it last night so we watched it again this morning.  Great movie...I thought so anyways.  We basically did nothing today but get ready for church.  Actually, Chris spent all day getting ready...I sat and watched.  He he he.  Anyhoo, we're going to leave for church soon.
 
It's going to be weird not seeing Josh at church this week.  Ah well.  He's getting back on Wednesday.  I can't wait to see him and hear all about how his trip went!
 
Well, I must be off.  I'll talk to y'all later.

Check out my blog on learning Dvorak to get a day-by-day update on my learning progress! It's new...check it out!

Learning New Things Is Fun - Plus, There's Not Much Else

This is fun! I am learning a new keyboard format to type with. I'm learning Dvorak, and even though I have again become extremely slow at typing, I already like Dvorak better than Qwerty! I hope to soon become as fast as I was before, the only difference being the keyboard layout. It's hard, but the more I use it, the better and faster I'll become. I am so excited about this! I guess I could call this my summer project! He he he.

Josh left for Hawaii this morning. I can't wait to hear about all he's going to do over the next 10 days!

Anyhoo, I guess that's all you guys need to know! Ttyl!

Life As Of Late Has Been Slow - Plus, I Miss All Of My Friends

I miss my friends. I feel like I haven't seen them in forever, what with the holiday weekend and such.

Work has been busy. I haven't seen Kenneth in a while, so that's good. Did I tell you that the other girls that I work with call him Mittens? It's so funny because it fits him perfectly. I don't know how, but it does. I may have scared him off...I'm not sure yet. We'll see. Hopefully I won't have to find out, but things happen.

I spent Saturday with Josh. That was fun!

Hmm...I don't think there's anything new or exciting to update on. As the title says, life as of late has been slow.

Um...I Don't Know - Plus, Nothing New Under the Sun

I'm updating my blog because I haven't been on here in a while, but I really don't know what to say.

I went to my Grandma's house for the 4th of July celebrations...plus her b-day's on the 5th. It was boring as usual.

Josh leaves Tuesday for 10 days. He's vacationing with his family in Hawaii. I'll have to tell him to take lots of pictures for me. I don't know if he will, but I'll ask him to anyways.

I suppose that's all I really have to say. I feel like I haven't been to church in ages.

Oh, if I can find someone to go with me, I might be able to be on Crowder's radio show at UTD. That'll be fun I suppose.

Talk to you all later.